(wrote a few days back)
I think I have a lot of work that I am supposed to be doing… But there is this incident that happened today that I just had to put in here.

It is funny how when you wake up, you expect things to follow your mundane routine and from the moment you open your eyes, all things decide to change course without you having to initiate it. It becomes an event of ridiculous proportion. Most surprising bit is the thing that caused it all. It was yellow, more or less bordering on yellow ochre with two round brown eyes. Reminding me of an earthy and slimy- looking ‘puss-in-boots’ from Shrek. Surely you will remember his soulful innocent eyes. Fortunately, our friend here was not as active or agile. Thank God!

I woke up after pressing the snooze button, on the several alarms that I had kept, some umpteen times. [Note to self: Should change the alarm tone soon. I am starting to get irritated with Vertical Horizon. I thought it would be romantic waking up listening to their music. But it is undeniablely, a disturbing behaviour]. I was irritated seeing 0637 on my alarm clock. Then I rubbed my eyes some million times and walked to wash my face. I did it all like I usually do. Then took the towel, wiped my face and was about to hang the towel back on the rod…That is when I saw him staring at me. Oh so creepy! My paranoiac radar sensed the towel that would have rubbed against his body when I was taking it out to wipe my face. In fact, so many things crossed my mind at that single point of time that I jumped and ran to the door screaming. (you might picture me, waving my hands frantically... but that is not my style. when i scream i only concentrate on that.)

Then I decided that I shall take care of it when I get back from work. [Secretly was hoping that Vidhu (loomate- it’s quite straight forward, shall explain later) would take care of it]. I kept thinking of it when I was in college and also when I was in office. Thoughts moved back and forth from pragmatic ones like- how will I get it out of my bathroom to why did the princess feel like kissing a frog in that fairy tale- eww!! If I was dead sure that it would turn into a handsome prince (that I have in my mind), maybe I would but still… kissing a frog?!! Oh I did not mention it before, did I? Yes, my day began with a frog.

I was going a little insane in office, so that kept my mind off the frog. But at 8, he came back into my head. Vidhu was unwell, so she did not know what had happened to the frog. I can tell you this much, frogs… it is fate. I came to the hostel late and I knew without having a bath and without getting a definitive sign that the frog is not anyplace nearby, I could not have dinner. So first thing I did, check where is located. I opened the door and there he was staring at me. I opened it again some time later. Again he was there, at the same place, staring the same way. Anna was not back, so decided to call Maria. But she had college work to finish, so I went back down wondering what to do with it.

On the stairs I met a few girls. One of them told me that she used to catch frog when she was little. But now, she is a little scared. But she came with me. I cannot tell you how grateful I was. Still I am. Dhanya (her name) thought it is best to catch using the mug and then putting it into a plastic bag and letting it out, someplace outside hostel. The plan that took nearly 5 minutes to make and it sounded foolproof. We took a good amount of time preparing. Actually I was more like the husband standing with the wife at the labour room, he is all frantic but it is a little purposeless, he cannot feel any pain or agony. [Dhanya if you ever stumble on my blog, it is an insane metaphor, but you know what I mean]. After another five minutes of ‘Ok, here I go’ and ‘Hmm’ and ‘Alright’ and ‘Don’t Jump! Don’t Jump!’ and so on, it one [pow!] move, she did what she had planned to do. The mug had the frog, the frog was jumping around like crazy, she could feel it, it was creepy, she said so…Just one small problem, wall was covering the open end of the mug, now how do we put it into a bag without it leaping on one of us.

[Note to any animal rights activist who accidentally stumbled on to my blog: The process followed for was meant to be humane. Any resemblance to the act of the five year boy who tried to drag a frog with a twine thinking it was a dog is purely coincidental.]

Then for a good 2 minutes we kept dragging him across the wall like some ping pong ball in a video. After which Dhanya got tired and in a frantic, erratic effort, I kept a plastic bag right under the mug and she let the frog drop into the bag. It still amazes me when I think of how we decided to forget the fact that a). Frogs can jump b). We are no superheroes (you cannot tie a bag with a frog inside in less than one second). I don’t remember much of what happened after this. We jumped. We screamed. Ran out of the bathroom. Then started laughing like some crazed fools. Another thing happened… but I am not going to mention that here. Continuing with the story…

Then we decided it is best to look for help. In half hours time, many gathered. But only Anna and Preeti had the guts to look him in the eye and scream till he got out of the bathroom. I was already shaking from the first scream and laugh session that I did not see what had happened exactly in the bathroom. Anyway he was out and he was in my room. As the tradition was, I screamed again. Screamed Screamed Screamed!!! Everyone screamed and in less than a minute he figured that my room was worse than the bathroom. So he got out, went to the corridor. Then I carefully stood back in the background watching all that happened. Yes, call me a fool. But frogs scare the hell out me and I don’t care how tiny they are. By the time we reached the corridor, Ponnu was back from work. Then mighty three -Dhanya, Preeti and Ponnu (again, mighty is meant quite straightforwardly.) They managed to capture him in a mug. Then they took him out and let him free.

[Note for animal activists: See, We are not so bad. We meant no harm. Although at one point someone did suggest that we kill him. In the end, our hearts are made of pure love for all creatures alive.]

To all who managed to reach the end of one hell of an insignificant story…
So you did not have anything better to do? No work? Nothing to study? No college? No office? No girlfriends/boyfriends/gay friends to meet? Or did you get dumped recently? Or did all your attempts to get your crush to notice you go into waste? Or did you recently find out that the guy you are dating is a girl? Do you feel weird about your sexual orientation? Do you have no friends? No party to go to? No friends to booze with? No weed to smoke up? No coke to snort? No books to read? No music to listen to? No instruments to play? No movies to watch? Forgot to book tickets for the play? Got lost in the wild? Lost your memory? Lost your wallet? Got free wi-fi from your neighbour? Geiste.blogspot.com is the only link you can access?
If you answered no to the questions in blue and yes to the others … you pretty much have no life…

Welcome to mine!!!